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Newsletters>
Parent Support Goes a Long Way
September 20, 2007
Parent Support Goes a Long Way
By Howard Moses
Our son Alex has had Tourette's since he was about 5 years
old, he is currently 9. Like most parents, we had no idea
what was going on with him, and were certain it was
strictly behavioral. We are fortunate that his symptoms are
rather mild in the spectrum of Tourette's, however it is no
less traumatic to he and us. It has taken all of us a while
to come to terms with this disorder, and the physical,
emotional and social turmoil which results.
We have met with numerous Pediatric Neurologists and
Psychologists, who quite frankly don't seem to know much
about how to treatment. As a group, they have thus far
unsuccessfully recommended 4 different treatments, none of
which has helped significantly, and in most cases the side
effects were worse than his Tourette's. We have also tried
bio-feedback, yoga and other assorted programs.
As Alex has aged, we have noticed several things about him
(I can only speak for Alex and don't know if these are
universal):
He has become able to almost completely control (tone down)
his tics during social timeframes with friends and at
school. We're told this isn't the best thing to do, but
frankly I don't blame him for doing so. It has taken a
while, but we have convinced him it is ok to "let go" at
night with his family.
He is a physically gifted athlete and participates in all
kids of sports. We have noticed that when he is physically
exhausted, it helps with his tics. He particularly likes to
wrestle with me, and while it can get quite physical, it
somehow allows him to release his pent up aggression and
anger toward his disorder.
Alex also has ADHD. We have been fortunate to get him into
a program at a private school which deals specifically with
ADHD and his disorder. This program has been a godsend, as
it allows him to progress along with his peers, in an
environment which is more suited to his learning style. The
classes are small (8-10 kids) and he is excelling
academically.
He has been in piano lessons for 4 years now. In addition
to the benefits of music - helping with brain development -
he seems to enjoy the requirements of the learning process.
He has developed a great deal of pride from being able to
do something most other kids can't, and he loves to perform
in front of family and friends. Interestingly, while he is
playing piano, his tics disappear, no matter how severe
they happen to be at the time.
We understand that those with Tourette's have a heightened
sense of empathy, which Alex most definitely does. He is a
pretty emotional kid, which I suppose to be understandable
under the circumstances. As a result of his
empathy/sweetness, he has a lot of friends and is well
liked by most kids and adults. We feel this is an attribute
which will serve him well throughout his life.
As the father/bad cop figure of our home, I have spent a
lot of time wondering what my role should be. His mother is
kind and sweet to him, sometimes to a fault - but always
surrounding him with love. After agonizing about not being
able to "fix" his problem, I have shifted my role to
teaching him to how to deal with life with the added
challenge of his disorder. The concept of "toughening up"
my child seems a bit archaic nowadays, but I would feel
remiss if I did otherwise.
Alex is a great kid, who has had to grow up faster than
most due to his disorder. We love him very much and cry
with him when things are bad, and rejoice when things are
going well. There is nothing more agonizing as a parent
than having to answer the "why me" question. Hopefully, the
medical community will catch up with Tourette's, which
probably doesn't get the attention it deserves as it isn't
life threatening.
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